Problem caused by school? HELP!?
OK, i am 13 and have trouble with school. It is my second year at secondary school (Year 8). For some reason (but I dont have a clue what it is) Going to school fills me with dread. I dont know why though. At school, i am popular, I have a whole bunch of friends. In lessons, I am almost top of the class, in the top sett for all the subjects. My test marks are extremely good. I may not be a teacher’s pet, but most of the teachers like me well enough. I have no reason to dislike school. But for some reason, i hate it more than anything I’ve ever hated. Just thinking of the corridors and lockers and all the lessons makes me shake, and I feel sick.
At school, especially during the lessons, but sometimes in the assemblies and breaks, I feel constantly like I’m about to be sick. I feel hot and clammy, and people say I go pale/yellowy-white. My stomach churns, the room feels extremely stuffy. Usually when i’m at home, i’m perfectly all right. It’s odd. I have been to a doctor and a specialist, so far they can find nothing physically wrong with me.
I feel like something really dreadful happened at school, but I cant remember what it is. This week, i’ve had half-term, so no school for a week. I’m back on Monday, though. Just today, I thought about school properly for the first time this week. It actually made me shake, I needed to sit down fast, and I felt like i was going to be physically sick. I dont think I could cope if I went back another day.
Just a year and a half ago, at my last school, in four years, I’d barely had a days’ absence. I actually liked it. I actually went in when I had a choice not to (when I was ill, on a number of occaisions my mum said i didnt have to go in, but I did). I was always really, really strong, mentally strong, and barely ever ill. I remember thinking once to myself, "i’m the healthiest person i know". Now, i’m actually the most UN-healthy person i know.
To be home- tutored would be the best thing that ever happened to me. My mum actually teaches French and Italian, and those are actually the two language subjects I learn at school. My sister has a maths tutor who could tutor me as well. Those are seven of the twenty-five lessons I do at school, four language lessons a week, and three maths lessons a week. I do horse-riding, which could cover for my two P.E lessons i do a week, and I can play the piano, which could cover my music lesson. I wouldnt really need to do my Drama, art and D.T lessons as they aren’t key subjects. I’m sure I could find a science tutor, and maybe a Humanities tutor as well. I could make it work, i know I could, though I admit i’d miss the company of my friends all day, but I could still see them. But I know my parents wouldnt let me, unless i went into some kind of mental depression about school. My parents know I dont like school much, but thats an understatement. I have JUST managed to cope for the last year and a bit, but I feel I NEED to do SOMETHING now. please give advice, or tell me how to deal with school/ overcome my dislike (fear?) of it, or how to persuade my parents about home schooling.
Thanks so much x
